I’m back to work since vacations end. It seems I have a very busy week ahead of me. I’m still struggling with him being away. I know it’s just another day that I am stress. Tomorrow I’m going to be just fine. Long distance relationships are never easy but I know there’s nothing going to tear us apart. The thing is we already are apart and it seems nothing worse than that. I've cried a thousand times over things that I can't change--hoping that someday it will. But tears and emotional wouldn’t help much with my situation—instead it makes thing worse.
Sometimes it seems like my long distance relationship will remain long distance forever. Sometimes it doesn’t seem a bad idea. I’ve been on my own for so long now. I don’t know how it feels if we can get our life together. But then it feels so great when I hear him laugh and how I love to look into his beautiful eyes. And how it feels to be in his arms. I know how lucky I am to have him
There’s always a feeling of guilt, desperate that stays with me. Even we already have conversations and we agree we should be together! But it seems like these are not really helping me from not being sad. How many times I remind myself how lucky we are to each other, even we aren’t in the same place.
Yesterday me and the future sis in law woke up at 0645 and headed to the Ferry building to take the Ferry to SF. Man, its been years since I've taken the ferry or the Muni. We go to SF and since we got there 10 minutes early, I stopped by my favorite bakery Miette. Picked up an Opera cake and a Caramel Panna Cotta. Made our way to Muni and took it to Civic Center. I was afraid we'd get lost but we didnt, yay! Grabbed some Burger King for breakfast and went to Behind The Emerald Curtain.
- In "No Good Deed" at the end where she goes "alright, enough so be it!" and she waves her arms around, Elphaba's cape stuck to her face. You could tell she was slightly off from the vents that blew up the air so yeah she had to pull it from her face hehe.
- In "Dancing Through Life" the duet between Elphaba and Galinda where Galinda goes "you deserve each other, this hat and you, you're both so... smart" she said "sharp" instead of "smart". Hehe.
I need to expand my friend's list. I need good blogs!! I've been out of the blogging loop for awhile and am trying to play catch up! So please leave some links/comments/flares with awesome bloggers!
thx :-)
But I'm always down for a good read, and good feedback. Sometimes you need a little insight from people who don't know you quite as well as your "real-life" friends. And who knows? You can develop bonds that are pretty great.
So if you're a down-to-earth person and appreciate a little honesty, then feel free to add me! And I'll gladly do the same =)
- Monica
I’m not a karaoke lover. I enjoyed sing a song without microphone and music. At least it is less annoyed—at least it isn’t as loud.
After a year I had a chance to go to karaoke last Thursday. I felt really old! At least the song I can think of isn’t that modern. How old is Rod Stewart and ABBA by the way?
Anyway, you probably know how Thai people crazy about Karaoke—and that’s nothing wrong. In comparison Filipinos are 10 times crazy. And I got use to it when I was there; people sing a song and dance. Believe it or not! About a half of the population has a karaoke box at home!!!
Anyway the karaoke was suppose to be Cool and Fun thing to do. At least when you feel lonely or being under pressure, But this Karaoke night isn’t going to be fun because we got stood up!
Somebody who organizes this party has already invited
around 15 people or so and they didn’t show up! And this party was supposed to be more likely a wedding party announcement… but the soon-to-be gloom appeared there only 15 mins and he just left!
There were only 3 people left in a big room, the room was quite more than a normal Karaoke room because that was supposed to be 15 people there. Anyway, we managed to sing and dance and ordered some foods.
After the party ends, its time to pay the bills! And the worst part was that who is going to pay the bill?
We stared at each other and silence.
You know I can't smile without you. I can't smile without you. I can't laugh and I can't sing— this song popup in my head in that moment.
There’s nothing worst that you know you have to pay something you’re not supposed to pay. It feel like you pay for your underwear and it doesn’t fit you ever!
Well, life doesn’t fit. Life is change. Life is Life.
After a while, a waiter hands me a bill. “Here you are…”
"Er.. right…" we'resupposed to pay this. of course we will. we have to!
Well, after the party ends, how fun? Imagine that this was my wedding party announcement thingy and there were only a few people there. That is still 10 times better than this feeling. A feeling that we got stood up and nobody care each other anymore in this society. They care only about themselves. And now that was a karaoke voice in my head.
I am obsessed with this song. I love how dark and how seductive and how secret it is. If you saw the musical you'd know what I'm talkin about. It's just, I dont know. That "I dont know how much longer I have with you" theme going on. It's always something exciting and depressing at the same time.
I've been obsessed with this song too. The scene after "As Long As You're Mine". I love this song because you can hear her anxiety, you can feel how bad she feels. How much she wants to save Fieyro. How sorry she is. How misunderstood she was. How everything and everyone just turned against her. It was like her breaking point. She accepted that they thought she was a wicked witch when she knew she wasnt. All she wanted to do was help. I love how much emotion is put into it and how much emotion it stirs up.
I've seriously been listening to these two songs over and over for the last 36 hours. I cant get enough of Wicked! I'm utterly obsessed. And I love it! I seriously want to see this musical again. At least 10 more times! No joke!
Dang, the last time I was this obsessed with something was Ryan Cabrera back in 05' haha. Dont you love things that can make you emotional?
Saturday was my grandpa's birthday. And in memory of him, I decided to go see Wicked. I had wanted to see this since I heard it was playing in our area and originally had wanted to see it for my birthday, but I ended up going to Disneyland instead and I thought they were going to end but they extended it so I decided to go for his birthday (and I found out they extended our showing again).
We sat in the balcony. Like literally, the very very VERY top row. I
liked our seats, they were easy to find, we were on the end and you
could see the whole stage from up there. But you could see peoples faces.
I still really enjoyed it. In fact, I kinda wanna see it again =). I've
been obsessed since I got home. Watching it on youtube, planning to buy
the soundtrack lol. Oh! I got a flying monkey plushie, a hat and a
witch hat keychain. I LOVE witch hats! I'm sad this is the only picture
I took. I was all nice and dressed up and I didnt get a chance to take
a picture with the poster. I'm really bummed out about that...
extremely bummed out to be honest.
I had something else to update on, and I dont remember what it was. Hmm.
I'm going to be doing a mini jewelry sale soon, gonna be announcing some mark. store promo's, going to be adding more pieces to my crafts blog. Its just this wire wrapping that's frustrating me. Blah! I'll get it down someday.
I wanna go on a NYX haul but ugh, I dont need any more makeup! I need to get rid of makeup! Not buy more. I have a few China Glaze and a bunch of OPI nail polishes I dont want anymore, should I put them up for sale? Can you even ship nail polish?!
Days are passing too quickly, Martin's leaving sooner and sooner :(
I made a military-ish blog here. Its not gonna be detailed like another one that I have (thats friends only) because I dont wanna violate anything. I didnt want it to get mixed up with all my other stuff.
Oh! I missed ONE day of taking birth control and the next day I got my period. You know how usually you spot? Well, I didnt spot. I got my full blown period. It sucks!!! At least now I know what happens when I miss a day, right? AND I'm drinking Pepsi. Why do you always crave the things that make you cramp when you're on your period? It tastes so good but its so painful! Argh.
I have just had a rotten day. The day that I want to just sit alone and cried. But I couldn’t… The day I felt so humiliated, embarrassed, disappointed, and worthless. And I still have that feeling with me all the time but I need to go on.
My parents tired to arrange my wedding without asking me. They asked my boyfriend instead. I know they’re conservative and I know they care about their image.
But what about me? I want to shout at them... like Er… Hello? Why are you doing this to me? I’m a human and I have a feeling. I can be pain and I can be hurt. I don’t think they listen to me.Even my relationship is good but I never ask for help! They don’t have the right to do anything about it!
We were happy and enjoyed out relationship—I wanted to stay a happy couple and then later we can see what this love has got to do for us, but what now!? Somebody stepped there and force us to married… Are you joking? If we are not ready why we need to? What marriage really means? A ceremony, people and cakes? Isn’t that loving each other is more important? Well, maybe not…
I feel a pang inside after we finished talking. I couldn’t do anything. It was like my whole world has turned around. It was a serious impact on us. How could I ask him if he wanted to marry me or not? How could I bear if he said that he doesn’t or I’m not ready? Should that be the end of our relationship? But if he wanted to I would think because of my family has been forced him to do that anyway.
What my parents should know is that they are not going to make me marry anyone by their behavior.
When you're living in both conservative and modern country. Where you can see both thing twisted. Especially when you are Thai woman, you are in between those tradition conservation and modern kind of things. And you are being confused all the time.
I really don’t understand why Thai parents forced their child especially their daughter to married before make sure if they love each other or they’re match. Also when the relationship won’t work anymore, a divorce considered tainted for women.
What would I say with my situation? Where the society has been banned a mini-skirt (because they think that the invitation for rape) but you can find coyote girls at many events and a lot of night clubs more than just bookstore.
There’s no easy way to handle that ever!
If I have to write about my vacations, first thing I couldn’t forget and it still scare me every night was that my sleeping walking and screaming just came back lately during my trip, and this time getting worse. I even broke the curtain rail.
I awake that night at the hotel and I seem to forget everything I did. I didn’t know what I did exactly but Colin told me that I screamed and we found out after turn the light on that the curtain rail already broken. I stood there for awhile and tried to think of what I did but useless, I can’t remember anything.
I just notice that I had a sore throat and my arms hurts so much, there was a little cut on my left arm and bruise on his arm as well.
We weren’t sure what to do … and I couldn’t fall asleep again after, I manange to sleep at last after 2 hours.
I did what I don’t remember and it was so terrible to have these symptoms back again. I wanted to cry—even I know that’s not being helpful.
Remembering, I use to send SMS while I was sleeping and I didn’t remember anything. That was terrible but this was worse.
The next morning, I told the housekeeper at the hotel that the curtain rail needs to be fix, then she asked someone to fix it, it took 2 or 3 hours to fix and they even need to changed the new rail. I really feel so terrible about this thing. Anyway, the hotel didn’t charge us for that, they simply thought their curtain rail was too old. :P
But well, broken curtain rail can be fix, but what about me? Can I be fixed?
Mmmm yum a long awaited food post! I got hungry just thinking about all the good food I been eating this past month. I really need to go to the gym more often, I am trying to wake up early and go before work. Wishful thinking right? Ha I hope I can do it!
Tried this kind of posh but still pretty casual place in Fashion Island, Cafe R&D. Just kept it simple and didn't really eat a meal. Got the Mediterranean seared tuna salad. It's sushi-grade tuna, avocado, cucumber and goat cheese.
Went to 50/50 Slater Burgers. It's where you can build your own burger. I got whole wheat squaw bread, 50/50 burger (half beef half bacon), lettuce, onions, grilled pineapple, fried egg, gruyere cheese and teriyaki sauce. Needless to say I only ate half of it and packed up the rest.
The other week right before Monica left for China I got to finally meet her! We had a mutual friend and ate at Coconut Bay. Yummy Thai food!
One weekend spent time with the family and we ate at The Hat at Victoria Gardens. We're so fatty. Everyone in my family got the pastrami dip while I got the pastrami burger. Then onion rings and friends with gravy. Dipping your fried food in warm delicious gravy is the best thing ever!
Last week it was my friend's birthday and went to CA Beach Sushi. This is only the second time I went here and sat in a table. There was 11 of us, maybe more so there was no way we were fitting at the sushi bar. I am not much for rolls and being here was such a tease! Going to go get sushi again and sit at the bar. Nothing ever compares!
And last but not least ended up in Cerritos last weekend and ate at Sweetee Thai Cafe. Always heard of it and thought hey why not try it. First time trying Tom Yum Noodles too, they were a nice change to my routine Thai cuisine order.
